The Rooster (2020)


hopes in the sky (2017)

Time away  ~~ the misery store ~~ my platonic friend

twenty years ~~ back to the yard

 

What I Couldn't Say (2015)

alice  ~~  six train  ~~  your garden

stuck with me  ~~  gone

The Rooster

I met the old man up on the mesa

He was camped at the head of the trail                                

I was looking for a guide to take me closer to the sky, 

Up the mountain peak I meant to scale

I don’t think he’d shaved in a decade

Made it hard to see if he could smile

The brim of his hat hid those robin’s egg eyes     

His boots, they had trekked ten thousand miles

Refrain

They all  called him the Rooster

Rooster had lady called Elaine 

Rooster tried to warn me not to venture out too far

Said “you can’t see the trouble on the range”

No you can’t see the trouble on the range

(Verse)

Rooster had a question that first morning,

He looked up from his coffee for a spell               

“You sure want to climb? Ain’t no shame to stay behind

searching for your heaven can be hell”

I grinned as, tightened up my laces

Grabbed my ridgetop hat by the brim

Told him “I ain’t gonna stop, got my heart set on the top

Please don’t bother askin’ me again

(Refrain)

I told the Rooster all ‘bout my Rosie,

How the embers glow inside our hearts

Rosie’s far away, but I’m counting on the day

when we won’t ever have to be apart

Rooster took long swig of his whiskey,

Seemed like he had something on his mind

But he just shook his head, then climbed into his tent

said “get some sleep, you’ll need it for the climb.”


(refrain)


I felt a chilly breeze and a raindrop

Just as we caught sight of Wilson Peak

Switchbacks zigged ‘n zagged, 

There was wet moss on the crags, 

Air was thin, my muscles they felt weak

Something must have happened in that moment

Maybe just a strong wind blowin’ round

I felt the Rooster’s hand, it was tryin’ to help me stand

But I just went tumblin, tumblin down


Six months down the road i’m still in rehab

Doctor says I’ll always need the cane

Rosie never showed, never called me on the phone

Rooster just keeps singing his refrain

(alt. final refrain)

They all call me the Rooster

Once I had a lady called Elaine

She left me when I headed for the mountains

Now I’m all alone out on the range

Bound to be alone out on the range

Searching for my heaven on the range


 

Time Away

The undertow has got me, looks like I could drown; Don't try to lift me up I'll drag you down, down down

Deep beneath the waves, driftin' with the tide; it's the only way to get to the other side

Time, time away (I think you could use a little) time, time away

Don't say I should try to ignore it (let's go try that new place down the street)

Don't say I just need to stay occupied (I have some food, let's sit down and eat)

I know I need to explore it (you look tired, try to get some sleep)

Can't pretend it's not there, you know I've tried (Why don't you try?), oh yes I've tried.

 

Sometimes I go for days, maybe a week or two; show the world a smile, don't leave any clues

Maybe with some time alone, a journey far away, I'll find a new place in the sun and see some brighter days

Time, time away. Time time away; Don't say I should try to ignore it.

Don't say I just need to stay occupied. I know I need to explore it; can't pretend it's not there

You know I've tried (why don't you try?), oh yes I've tried.

 

Don't say I need a distraction (let me take you out to the movies)

Don't say it's just a passing phase (holidays are comin' up real soon)

I know it's more than a reaction (rest your head, it's been such a long day)

Questioning will always be my way (it's just a bad day); it's just my way.

 

Time, time away (I think we could use a little) time, time away.

The Misery Store

I like to think about dying, it's fun on a Saturday night

To wonder when we're goin' under, when they're gonna turn out the lights

You prefer a party, meet up with all of your friends

Go see a play, sip some charnonnay never thinkin' about the end.

 

I'm content with some misery; there's nothing I like more

Than an existential crisis, I'm just thinkin' bout how nice it is

To curl up in a ball on the floor; please take me to the misery store.

 

The misery store is stocked full of treats; boxes of grief and despair.

Salt for your wounds, knives you can twist; and I can help you make your shopping list.

 

I like to think about suffering, it can be someone else's or mine,

As long as there's variety, depression and anxiety, I'd say that it will do just fine.

I have trouble comprehending how you seem to find joy each day

You marvel at sunrises, expecting nice surprises, ignoring our impending decay

 

I'm just fine with my misery, a blanket wet and cold

It's a way to be sure I don't forget there's no cure for what awaits us when we grow old

Please show me where the misery's sold.

 

The misery store is open all night, every single day of the year

Just trade in your joy and feelings of hope, and I can help you find a sturdy rope

 

I like to think about sorrow, fear, shame and regret,

Things we could have done, all the years already gone,

Why even get out of bed?

I like to think about dying, it's fund on a Saturday night

To wonder when we're goin' under, when they're gonna turn out the light

I'm just fine with some misery, there's nothing I like more 

Than an existential crisis, I'm just thinkin' bout how nice it is 

To curl up in a ball on the floor; please take me to the misery store.

Please take me to the misery store.

My Platonic Friend

I'm not really sure if I should sing this song about you, I realize there is a chance it will be misconstrued

I’d like to say out loud there’s a special bond between us, that might raise some questions, leave some folks confused   

Socrates and Plato wrote that love of beauty is divine, but if that love is physical it doesn't make the grade

Desire is a failure on a spiritual report card, we have worked our whole lives to keep up our GPA       

 

You are my platonic friend and I don’t hug you too tight when we say goodbye  

and so you might not know how much I’m gonna miss you no, no, no

You are my platonic friend and that might mean that I don’t say I love you

But I hope you know how much I do   

 

I was meditating when the lady with the soft voice said, grief is easier to handle If you’re with a friend

Then I pictured you beside me saying not a single word, that's when I broke down, felt like a child again          

Those nights we spent together, sharing only reveries, I don’t know how close we were to steppin’ cross a line

I think of all those time when we kept a little distance, how nice it would have been to hold your hand in mine

 

You are my platonic friend and I was hoping you could find some faded photos

From old times, see if we can recognize ourselves

You are my platonic friend and that might mean that I don’t say I love you

But I hope you know I how much I do


I was wondering where we’ll be when it’s time for eulogies and if we will be sorry that we left too much unsaid

So I wrote this song for you, I promise that they’re mostly true, these sentiments and memories all dancin’ in my head

 

You are my platonic friend, there's no trying to impress each other or

fulfill  some obligation, there's no hiding insecurities, or pretending everything’s OK

You are my platonic friend and that might mean that I don’t say I love you

But I hope you know I how much I do

 

You are my platonic friend and I don’t hug you too tight when we say goodbye  

and so you might not know how much I’m gonna miss you no, no, no

You are my platonic friend and that might mean that I don’t say I love you

Twenty Years

We  first met in Tokyo, I was only twenty three , I was readin’ a tolstoy novel when you  turned to look at me;

I was feelin’ lost and lonely, a stranger in a foreign place, but all my fears just disappeared when I first saw your face;

Those early days are hazy now, snapshots in my mind, sunrise on Mt. Fuji, a late night bicycle ride;

Hitchhiking down to Kyushu, drinkin’ asahi beers, all before we knew we’d be together  twenty years.

 

I followed you to London, found a flat in Parsons Green, you worked while I watched Neighbors, not a good routine;

Our folks thought we were crazy and maybe they were right, unsure about our future, we had some sleepless nights.

But things they started looking up in March of ninety four when you agreed to marry me, I couldn’t ask for more;

We tied the knot out on a yacht with champagne toasts and cheers, I count that as the as the luckiest day I’ve had in twenty years.

 

An American drinking coffee, an English girl with her tea, we packed up and we moved again, that seemed our destiny;

Took holidays in Paris, Sicily, Barcelone, when we returned to London, it felt like we were home.

So we saved up a little money, bought a house in Halford road, had to hire a feline therapist for our crazy black cat Moe;

We drove a little rover metro, our jobs became careers, we were laying the foundation that would last us twenty years.

 

In 1997, I had an opportunity, but it meant you had to leave your home, you did that for me;

I dragged you to New Hampshire, then out to Ohio, it's amazing how you find your place no matter where we go.

We had a spell of tough times, hospitals, surgery, every path ahead looked dark, the light was hard to see;

but our love it grew stronger,  we faced some of our worst fears, learned to ride through  the ups and downs you get over 20 years.

 

Our life’s still a journey now, but more of the  inward kind, parenthood, mortality, shaping our hearts and minds;

We’ve grown to be more patient, we’ve learned to compromise, we’re closer than we’ve ever been, we have the strongest ties.

When I look on the horizon, not too far away, I imagine new adventures and unpredictable days;

We’ve got so much more to see, and we’re bound for new frontiers, one day  we’ll look back and say, that was just the first twenty years.

 

Now I want to thank you, and tell you that you’re looking fine, that I love to feel your arms around me, still can’t believe you’re mine.

Do you know I can’t live without you, do you know how much I care? Do you know my heart still starts racing, when I’m watching you brush your hair?

I want to make you happy, to make you feel loved each day, I’ll do everything I can, to make sure that you stay;

I don’t know what the future holds,  laughter, joy or tears, but it’s plain to me, hope you’ll agree, we should try another 20 years.

 

Back to the Yard

We gathered that fall by the library steps, hiked the White Mountains and camped in the rain

Time on our side, hopes in the sky, sometimes I wish I was back there again

 

I'm goin' back, I long to be there, I'm goin' back to the yard for a day

I'm going back, the future behind me, wondrin' how twenty-five years slipped away

 

I searched through the red book, found an old flame, laughed at her musings on life in L.A.

A job and a family, carpools and cancer; the girl I once knew just so far away

 

I'm goin' back hoping to see her, I'm goin' back to the yard for a day

I'm going back, the future behind me, wondrin' how twenty five years slipped away.

 

Our folks they might see the sun going down, some may have trouble rememberin' our names

So we call the doctors and pay all the bills; I can't recall when everything changed.

 

I'm goin' back for a look at the past, I'm going back for day 

I'm goin' back, the future behind me, wondrin' how twenty-five years slipped away

 

We can go back reminisce and pretend, we can go back to the yard for a time

See the same faces, tread the worn walkways, talk to old friends about hopes in the sky

Alice

If you're feelin' sad or lonely she knows what to do

She'll open up her heart and tell you something kind and true

She’s like field of wildflowers reminding everyone

To see the beauty in this world, to warm up in the sun

 

Alice, hey Alice, one day you might understand this song

Alice, hey Alice, I could sing about you all day long

Yeah I could sing about you all day long (la la la…)

 

And if you don’t like crowds or parties, you’re anxious and you’re shy

She’ll smile and laugh and draw you out the instant she comes by

It’s like when winter storms have gone and spring is here to stay

It’s like a gentle breeze has come and chased the clouds away

 

She cares for every living thing, her empathy is strong

And if she ever causes pain she quickly rights the wrong

Sometimes she wanders like a stream, she’s happy to go astray

Sometimes she’s like a mighty river determined to go her way

 

Alice, hey Alice, one day you might understand this song

‘Cause Alice, hey Alice, you'll be all grown up before too long

 

six train

We took the number six train last sunday, four and five were runnin' with delays

You said we could get to our destination on time, oh how you love those traveling days

 

Our first trip together we went half way 'round the world I sang you lullabies on the plane

But you tossed and you turned and you didn't get much sleep; funny how some things haven't changed

 

At eleven years old you ventured all by yourself across the country to New Mexico

You struggled up that mountain but you made it to the peak, you've got more strength inside you than you know

 

You're a travelin' boy you're a wandering soul with ten thousand rivers left to cross

You can figure out just where you are and where you're bound, I don't worry 'bout you gettin' lost

No I don't worry about you gettin' lost

 

You're brave and your strong, keep your cool in a jam, you're the one who knows just what to do

When lightning cracks the sky and thunder shakes the ground, your little sister she relies on you

 

You're happy on the road with new adventures every day, your journey's gonna last for miles and miles

Soon you'll be a man, you'll be out on your own, and I hope you come home once in a while

 

Everybody has to find their own way in the end, but you don't ever have to feel alone

And I want you to know that I'm always here for you, no matter how far away you roam

 

 

Stuck with me

I sleep too much, like to stay in bed

You're up bright and early to face the day ahead

I always want to do less but for you it's always more

And when you say let's go out tonight I act like it's a chore

 

You cook three course meals, try new recipes

I make frozen burritos, maybe a grilled cheese

You look far down the road, see the joy to come our way

I can't see tomorrow, just trying to get through today

 

And lately I've been wonderin' cause it's a mystery

I just can't figure out why you have stuck with me

And I need to show you and you've got to know

How lucky I feel, and that I love you so

 

I don't tell you I love you, don't show you I care

I don't send you flowers, don't notice your hair

Sometime I get so sad that I don't know what to do

And when I'm lost in me, I know it's tough on you

 

And lately I've been wonderin' cause it's a mystery...

 

Yeah being stuck with me, I know it can be tough

And I do the best I can, but I know it's not enough

 

Cause I get home late, I forget to call

o on about my day, when it don't matter at all

Sometimes when you need me I just can't be around

I know it may seem selfish, but I'm afraid I'll bring you down

 

Babe we’ve been together now since 1992

And we’ve both had some hard times, but I’m glad I’m stuck with you

Cause I know that when I need you, you’ll always be around

You’re still the one I count on, and you never let me down

 

And lately I've been wonderin' cause it's a mystery...

 

your garden

I'm forty five years old now and a few things have't changed

I still worry that I can't get things right

But I have learned to rest my head even if I can't fall asleep

I've learned to love the peacefulness of night

 

So when I see you're still awake and the clock says one a.m.

I may not know exactly what to say

But believe me I know how you feel 'Cause I've been there myself

And I am here to help you find your way

 

And I would like to help you tend your garden

Together we can watch the flowers bloom

And I would like to hear the music playing in your head

'Cause I would like to learn to sing your tune

Yes I would like to learn to sing your tune

 

And I would like to see things through your window

To sit down in a chair inside your room

And I would like to know what dreams are going through your head

'Cause I would like to help them all come true

Yes I would like to help your dreams come true

 

You might think that we come from two worlds so far apart

That I could never get your point of view

And there are things about you that I don't yet understand

But I still see a part of me in you

 

And I would like to help you tend your garden....

 

 

 

gone

 

The sun is shinin' but it still feels cold

Blue sky seems a little gray

I can't see what's out on the horizon

How long will I feel this way?

 

Gone, gone, ashes in the sea

Gone, gone, just a memory

 

It feels like a dust storm is blowin' all the time

Tears keep streaming down my face

Feels like an earthquake has knocked me off my feet

When will I find a better place?  

 

I spend so many hours looking through old photographs

I can't believe how fast the years go by

But I can't stop that river from a flowin' to the sea

So how much longer am I gonna try?

 

In dreams she comforts me and tells me it's OK

But I'm hopelessly lost when I wake

I wish there was a trail leading out of these woods

How much longer will it take?

 

I don't know what's on the other side

Or if there's a heaven above

But sometimes it feels like she's standing next to me

And somehow I still feel her love

 

She's gone, gone, ashes in the sea

Gone, gone, but still a part of me

She's still a part of me