The Rooster (2020)
hopes in the sky (2017)
Time away ~~ the misery store ~~ my platonic friend
twenty years ~~ back to the yard
The Rooster
I met the old man up on the mesa
He was camped at the head of the trail
I was looking for a guide to take me closer to the sky,
Up the mountain peak I meant to scale
I don’t think he’d shaved in a decade
Made it hard to see if he could smile
The brim of his hat hid those robin’s egg eyes
His boots, they had trekked ten thousand miles
Refrain
They all called him the Rooster
Rooster had lady called Elaine
Rooster tried to warn me not to venture out too far
Said “you can’t see the trouble on the range”
No you can’t see the trouble on the range
(Verse)
Rooster had a question that first morning,
He looked up from his coffee for a spell
“You sure want to climb? Ain’t no shame to stay behind
searching for your heaven can be hell”
I grinned as, tightened up my laces
Grabbed my ridgetop hat by the brim
Told him “I ain’t gonna stop, got my heart set on the top
Please don’t bother askin’ me again
(Refrain)
I told the Rooster all ‘bout my Rosie,
How the embers glow inside our hearts
Rosie’s far away, but I’m counting on the day
when we won’t ever have to be apart
Rooster took long swig of his whiskey,
Seemed like he had something on his mind
But he just shook his head, then climbed into his tent
said “get some sleep, you’ll need it for the climb.”
(refrain)
I felt a chilly breeze and a raindrop
Just as we caught sight of Wilson Peak
Switchbacks zigged ‘n zagged,
There was wet moss on the crags,
Air was thin, my muscles they felt weak
Something must have happened in that moment
Maybe just a strong wind blowin’ round
I felt the Rooster’s hand, it was tryin’ to help me stand
But I just went tumblin, tumblin down
Six months down the road i’m still in rehab
Doctor says I’ll always need the cane
Rosie never showed, never called me on the phone
Rooster just keeps singing his refrain
(alt. final refrain)
They all call me the Rooster
Once I had a lady called Elaine
She left me when I headed for the mountains
Now I’m all alone out on the range
Bound to be alone out on the range
Searching for my heaven on the range
The undertow has got me, looks like I could drown; Don't try to lift me up I'll drag you down, down down
Deep beneath the waves, driftin' with the tide; it's the only way to get to the other side
Time, time away (I think you could use a little) time, time away
Don't say I should try to ignore it (let's go try that new place down the street)
Don't say I just need to stay occupied (I have some food, let's sit down and eat)
I know I need to explore it (you look tired, try to get some sleep)
Can't pretend it's not there, you know I've tried (Why don't you try?), oh yes I've tried.
Sometimes I go for days, maybe a week or two; show the world a smile, don't leave any clues
Maybe with some time alone, a journey far away, I'll find a new place in the sun and see some brighter days
Time, time away. Time time away; Don't say I should try to ignore it.
Don't say I just need to stay occupied. I know I need to explore it; can't pretend it's not there
You know I've tried (why don't you try?), oh yes I've tried.
Don't say I need a distraction (let me take you out to the movies)
Don't say it's just a passing phase (holidays are comin' up real soon)
I know it's more than a reaction (rest your head, it's been such a long day)
Questioning will always be my way (it's just a bad day); it's just my way.
Time, time away (I think we could use a little) time, time away.
I like to think about dying, it's fun on a Saturday night
To wonder when we're goin' under, when they're gonna turn out the lights
You prefer a party, meet up with all of your friends
Go see a play, sip some charnonnay never thinkin' about the end.
I'm content with some misery; there's nothing I like more
Than an existential crisis, I'm just thinkin' bout how nice it is
To curl up in a ball on the floor; please take me to the misery store.
The misery store is stocked full of treats; boxes of grief and despair.
Salt for your wounds, knives you can twist; and I can help you make your shopping list.
I like to think about suffering, it can be someone else's or mine,
As long as there's variety, depression and anxiety, I'd say that it will do just fine.
I have trouble comprehending how you seem to find joy each day
You marvel at sunrises, expecting nice surprises, ignoring our impending decay
I'm just fine with my misery, a blanket wet and cold
It's a way to be sure I don't forget there's no cure for what awaits us when we grow old
Please show me where the misery's sold.
The misery store is open all night, every single day of the year
Just trade in your joy and feelings of hope, and I can help you find a sturdy rope
I like to think about sorrow, fear, shame and regret,
Things we could have done, all the years already gone,
Why even get out of bed?
I like to think about dying, it's fund on a Saturday night
To wonder when we're goin' under, when they're gonna turn out the light
I'm just fine with some misery, there's nothing I like more
Than an existential crisis, I'm just thinkin' bout how nice it is
To curl up in a ball on the floor; please take me to the misery store.
Please take me to the misery store.
I'm not really sure if I should sing this song about you, I realize there is a chance it will be misconstrued
I’d like to say out loud there’s a special bond between us, that might raise some questions, leave some folks confused
Socrates and Plato wrote that love of beauty is divine, but if that love is physical it doesn't make the grade
Desire is a failure on a spiritual report card, we have worked our whole lives to keep up our GPA
You are my platonic friend and I don’t hug you too tight when we say goodbye
and so you might not know how much I’m gonna miss you no, no, no
You are my platonic friend and that might mean that I don’t say I love you
But I hope you know how much I do
I was meditating when the lady with the soft voice said, grief is easier to handle If you’re with a friend
Then I pictured you beside me saying not a single word, that's when I broke down, felt like a child again
Those nights we spent together, sharing only reveries, I don’t know how close we were to steppin’ cross a line
I think of all those time when we kept a little distance, how nice it would have been to hold your hand in mine
You are my platonic friend and I was hoping you could find some faded photos
From old times, see if we can recognize ourselves
You are my platonic friend and that might mean that I don’t say I love you
But I hope you know I how much I do
I was wondering where we’ll be when it’s time for eulogies and if we will be sorry that we left too much unsaid
So I wrote this song for you, I promise that they’re mostly true, these sentiments and memories all dancin’ in my head
You are my platonic friend, there's no trying to impress each other or
fulfill some obligation, there's no hiding insecurities, or pretending everything’s OK
You are my platonic friend and that might mean that I don’t say I love you
But I hope you know I how much I do
You are my platonic friend and I don’t hug you too tight when we say goodbye
and so you might not know how much I’m gonna miss you no, no, no
You are my platonic friend and that might mean that I don’t say I love you
We first met in Tokyo, I was only twenty three , I was readin’ a tolstoy novel when you turned to look at me;
I was feelin’ lost and lonely, a stranger in a foreign place, but all my fears just disappeared when I first saw your face;
Those early days are hazy now, snapshots in my mind, sunrise on Mt. Fuji, a late night bicycle ride;
Hitchhiking down to Kyushu, drinkin’ asahi beers, all before we knew we’d be together twenty years.
I followed you to London, found a flat in Parsons Green, you worked while I watched Neighbors, not a good routine;
Our folks thought we were crazy and maybe they were right, unsure about our future, we had some sleepless nights.
But things they started looking up in March of ninety four when you agreed to marry me, I couldn’t ask for more;
We tied the knot out on a yacht with champagne toasts and cheers, I count that as the as the luckiest day I’ve had in twenty years.
An American drinking coffee, an English girl with her tea, we packed up and we moved again, that seemed our destiny;
Took holidays in Paris, Sicily, Barcelone, when we returned to London, it felt like we were home.
So we saved up a little money, bought a house in Halford road, had to hire a feline therapist for our crazy black cat Moe;
We drove a little rover metro, our jobs became careers, we were laying the foundation that would last us twenty years.
In 1997, I had an opportunity, but it meant you had to leave your home, you did that for me;
I dragged you to New Hampshire, then out to Ohio, it's amazing how you find your place no matter where we go.
We had a spell of tough times, hospitals, surgery, every path ahead looked dark, the light was hard to see;
but our love it grew stronger, we faced some of our worst fears, learned to ride through the ups and downs you get over 20 years.
Our life’s still a journey now, but more of the inward kind, parenthood, mortality, shaping our hearts and minds;
We’ve grown to be more patient, we’ve learned to compromise, we’re closer than we’ve ever been, we have the strongest ties.
When I look on the horizon, not too far away, I imagine new adventures and unpredictable days;
We’ve got so much more to see, and we’re bound for new frontiers, one day we’ll look back and say, that was just the first twenty years.
Now I want to thank you, and tell you that you’re looking fine, that I love to feel your arms around me, still can’t believe you’re mine.
Do you know I can’t live without you, do you know how much I care? Do you know my heart still starts racing, when I’m watching you brush your hair?
I want to make you happy, to make you feel loved each day, I’ll do everything I can, to make sure that you stay;
I don’t know what the future holds, laughter, joy or tears, but it’s plain to me, hope you’ll agree, we should try another 20 years.
We gathered that fall by the library steps, hiked the White Mountains and camped in the rain
Time on our side, hopes in the sky, sometimes I wish I was back there again
I'm goin' back, I long to be there, I'm goin' back to the yard for a day
I'm going back, the future behind me, wondrin' how twenty-five years slipped away
I searched through the red book, found an old flame, laughed at her musings on life in L.A.
A job and a family, carpools and cancer; the girl I once knew just so far away
I'm goin' back hoping to see her, I'm goin' back to the yard for a day
I'm going back, the future behind me, wondrin' how twenty five years slipped away.
Our folks they might see the sun going down, some may have trouble rememberin' our names
So we call the doctors and pay all the bills; I can't recall when everything changed.
I'm goin' back for a look at the past, I'm going back for day
I'm goin' back, the future behind me, wondrin' how twenty-five years slipped away
We can go back reminisce and pretend, we can go back to the yard for a time
See the same faces, tread the worn walkways, talk to old friends about hopes in the sky
If you're feelin' sad or lonely she knows what to do
She'll open up her heart and tell you something kind and true
She’s like field of wildflowers reminding everyone
To see the beauty in this world, to warm up in the sun
Alice, hey Alice, one day you might understand this song
Alice, hey Alice, I could sing about you all day long
Yeah I could sing about you all day long (la la la…)
And if you don’t like crowds or parties, you’re anxious and you’re shy
She’ll smile and laugh and draw you out the instant she comes by
It’s like when winter storms have gone and spring is here to stay
It’s like a gentle breeze has come and chased the clouds away
She cares for every living thing, her empathy is strong
And if she ever causes pain she quickly rights the wrong
Sometimes she wanders like a stream, she’s happy to go astray
Sometimes she’s like a mighty river determined to go her way
Alice, hey Alice, one day you might understand this song
‘Cause Alice, hey Alice, you'll be all grown up before too long
We took the number six train last sunday, four and five were runnin' with delays
You said we could get to our destination on time, oh how you love those traveling days
Our first trip together we went half way 'round the world I sang you lullabies on the plane
But you tossed and you turned and you didn't get much sleep; funny how some things haven't changed
At eleven years old you ventured all by yourself across the country to New Mexico
You struggled up that mountain but you made it to the peak, you've got more strength inside you than you know
You're a travelin' boy you're a wandering soul with ten thousand rivers left to cross
You can figure out just where you are and where you're bound, I don't worry 'bout you gettin' lost
No I don't worry about you gettin' lost
You're brave and your strong, keep your cool in a jam, you're the one who knows just what to do
When lightning cracks the sky and thunder shakes the ground, your little sister she relies on you
You're happy on the road with new adventures every day, your journey's gonna last for miles and miles
Soon you'll be a man, you'll be out on your own, and I hope you come home once in a while
Everybody has to find their own way in the end, but you don't ever have to feel alone
And I want you to know that I'm always here for you, no matter how far away you roam
I sleep too much, like to stay in bed
You're up bright and early to face the day ahead
I always want to do less but for you it's always more
And when you say let's go out tonight I act like it's a chore
You cook three course meals, try new recipes
I make frozen burritos, maybe a grilled cheese
You look far down the road, see the joy to come our way
I can't see tomorrow, just trying to get through today
And lately I've been wonderin' cause it's a mystery
I just can't figure out why you have stuck with me
And I need to show you and you've got to know
How lucky I feel, and that I love you so
I don't tell you I love you, don't show you I care
I don't send you flowers, don't notice your hair
Sometime I get so sad that I don't know what to do
And when I'm lost in me, I know it's tough on you
And lately I've been wonderin' cause it's a mystery...
Yeah being stuck with me, I know it can be tough
And I do the best I can, but I know it's not enough
Cause I get home late, I forget to call
o on about my day, when it don't matter at all
Sometimes when you need me I just can't be around
I know it may seem selfish, but I'm afraid I'll bring you down
Babe we’ve been together now since 1992
And we’ve both had some hard times, but I’m glad I’m stuck with you
Cause I know that when I need you, you’ll always be around
You’re still the one I count on, and you never let me down
And lately I've been wonderin' cause it's a mystery...
I'm forty five years old now and a few things have't changed
I still worry that I can't get things right
But I have learned to rest my head even if I can't fall asleep
I've learned to love the peacefulness of night
So when I see you're still awake and the clock says one a.m.
I may not know exactly what to say
But believe me I know how you feel 'Cause I've been there myself
And I am here to help you find your way
And I would like to help you tend your garden
Together we can watch the flowers bloom
And I would like to hear the music playing in your head
'Cause I would like to learn to sing your tune
Yes I would like to learn to sing your tune
And I would like to see things through your window
To sit down in a chair inside your room
And I would like to know what dreams are going through your head
'Cause I would like to help them all come true
Yes I would like to help your dreams come true
You might think that we come from two worlds so far apart
That I could never get your point of view
And there are things about you that I don't yet understand
But I still see a part of me in you
And I would like to help you tend your garden....
The sun is shinin' but it still feels cold
Blue sky seems a little gray
I can't see what's out on the horizon
How long will I feel this way?
Gone, gone, ashes in the sea
Gone, gone, just a memory
It feels like a dust storm is blowin' all the time
Tears keep streaming down my face
Feels like an earthquake has knocked me off my feet
When will I find a better place?
I spend so many hours looking through old photographs
I can't believe how fast the years go by
But I can't stop that river from a flowin' to the sea
So how much longer am I gonna try?
In dreams she comforts me and tells me it's OK
But I'm hopelessly lost when I wake
I wish there was a trail leading out of these woods
How much longer will it take?
I don't know what's on the other side
Or if there's a heaven above
But sometimes it feels like she's standing next to me
And somehow I still feel her love
She's gone, gone, ashes in the sea
Gone, gone, but still a part of me
She's still a part of me